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The New Shoe Review
Coming Straight To You

Before I begin, you must know that these shoes aren't like brand new 2000 models. These are the ones you can currently find at your local cycle shop. So when I say new, I mean new this year, last year, not new just released next year. Now I'm confused.

While I'm at it, I might as well lay down the law in order for you to understand where I am coming from with these new shoe reviews. I'll clue you in on my bias, my personal preferences, and some of my "issues" that I bring to my laptop.

I like-a da technical and it ain't just one of those phases like my pro hoola hoop tour fantasy. My left foot's a bit bigger and suffers from a snubbed second toe. (I know what you're thinking, second one from which end?) I ride a stupidly heavy, fully suspended rig with Time pedals and a silly hat. I insist on comfort over everything — except water and peanut butter crunch Cliff bars. Most importantly, I always follow the rule of Master Toe: when your feet are happy, you are happy.

I asked every company for the same thing: a top-of-the-line and an entry-level shoe. Some gave me road shoes, while Vans sent me some dope skate shoes, but...I can't find the return address to ship them back, and now that they're all stinky, I just don't see the point. Furthermore, if you ask me why Vans doesn't put out anything more than a freestyle shoe, apparently you don't skate and therefore you don't relate — then again, neither do I. Anyhoo, these shoes were pranced around our downtown reverse penthouse (basement) office, as well as kicked on the hardest technical and climbed on the longest climbs me lungs could muster and I do mean muster — almost 3km! Oh yeah, if you don't see a certain shoe, we're a-waiting with you. Some companies claim the postman musta stole 'em.

I also let a few Zoners help me stink these shoes up and extracted (yes, like pulling teeth) some of their comments regarding the shoe performance, but I don't trust a one of them. Their words do not appear here.

— Hans Prosl, justifying my stinky swag for MountainZone.com